SIXTY EIGHT04.09.2022
i forget to take my vitamins when things get too hectic at times and my toothbrush is always on the rack in the shower where towels are supposed to go. i wish i was more stubborn about things. i wish i wasn't so delusional either. it was so hot out today and all i could think about spending the summer with you, clear skies and ice watering our drinks down, why do i imagine the stuff in there to be red, i fucking hate any kinda red fruits when they are made into juice, yes but ice, melting, the soft and occasional sound of a sliver of a breeze. i hate the summer too. it's crazy, some people make you love things that you have only ever hated, is that a slow reception of another person, you want to like what someone you like relates to right, or is it realization, someone holding on to your hand and walking you to someplace and oh, that was so beautiful why didn't it feel this way before, did you ignite a certain part of me that had to be lit up to help me perceive this particular thing in a way that would make me appreciate it. my head is blown because i was about to sleep just now but something just didn't click, something was just out of line, just so. should have asked if i could hold your hand that day, in the car, but it was too hot, outside, but we were standing just a couple inches too far away, there was so much time, we talked until two or something outside my gate that night, that is some crazy stuff if you will, the way i could talk to you for hours straight. i thought i wasn't in love with you, if i asked you if i could hold your hand that night, i would have had to admit that this wasn't true.
i forget to take my vitamins when things get too hectic at times and my toothbrush is always on the rack in the shower where towels are supposed to go. i wish i was more stubborn about things. i wish i wasn't so delusional either. it was so hot out today and all i could think about spending the summer with you, clear skies and ice watering our drinks down, why do i imagine the stuff in there to be red, i fucking hate any kinda red fruits when they are made into juice, yes but ice, melting, the soft and occasional sound of a sliver of a breeze. i hate the summer too. it's crazy, some people make you love things that you have only ever hated, is that a slow reception of another person, you want to like what someone you like relates to right, or is it realization, someone holding on to your hand and walking you to someplace and oh, that was so beautiful why didn't it feel this way before, did you ignite a certain part of me that had to be lit up to help me perceive this particular thing in a way that would make me appreciate it. my head is blown because i was about to sleep just now but something just didn't click, something was just out of line, just so. should have asked if i could hold your hand that day, in the car, but it was too hot, outside, but we were standing just a couple inches too far away, there was so much time, we talked until two or something outside my gate that night, that is some crazy stuff if you will, the way i could talk to you for hours straight. i thought i wasn't in love with you, if i asked you if i could hold your hand that night, i would have had to admit that this wasn't true.