LONDON - A CITY I LIVE IN
We woke up yesterday, and it was just such a lovely day, honestly. It was a Monday, after a long Sunday, a long week really, and we woke up pretty early in the day too, which is good, more often than not. We woke up and lolled around in bed for a while. I love this, I really do, mornings when Fred and I wake up together are the most beautiful for me. He always wakes up super early in the morning and then stays in bed until it’s time to wake me up – i.e. he is bored. I joke, he lets me sleep as much as time allows for. We had to go and get a poster from a shop in Hackney that day, and so we had to get up earlier, or else we usually don’t get shit done. It’s so beautiful, the feeling of waking up net to this sunshine of a man. He is always so full of energy, so instantly, so awake and just the absolute opposite of me. I hate to even say a word for like an hour after I wake up. I am not a morning person.
We always play around in bed, an exquisite experience I had never imaged to live to see. We talk and roll around and laugh a lot, we take turns holding one another and smell each other and go on our phones and kiss a lot. That is how mornings usually go when we get to wake up together. We have been sleeping only in one room for a while now, we did through winter because we only had one heated blanket and no fucking money to pay for heating our house appropriately, but when we sleep separately, one person will wake up and migrate to the other – Fenny, more often than not.
We got dressed and decided to go to the church for a coffee, because we wanted to see how Oswald was doing in there, and it just seemed like a nice day to go around there. We found him sitting on the bench behind the shed, on his phone. Fransis made us our coffees, and we went out to have a smoke and talked about RRR which was hilarious really because of course Oscar watched it and loved it. It made me so happy, to sit there in the sun, in the garden with our coffees, bitching around some random thing that happened over the weekend or that morning, about some random, piece of shit cunt that we had to deal with, or some movie that was good, or nothing in particular. I cannot believe that it was only about a year ago that we discovered this place. I was so happy then, to have found it, to have made acquaintances with Oland back then, and to come around to sit and have our coffees there, at the bench in the back, to see the robin and the canal.
We left to go get the bus from Camden and realized that Mary was at the cafe that morning, and then of course we had to go in and say hello to them. She made me cry that day. We were chatting about random stuff, and she asked me about my visa, which was surprising, and I asked her why. She said was thinking about me, and about my situation with jobs, and about how we needed to get me a job before the whole visa situation gets bad, and that made me cry. It feels so fucking warm to be thought about, to be considered. Somehow, I have come to know the kindest humans here in London. It is a blessing to know that people think about you, that people keep you in mind as they go about their lives. Macey is a beautiful human, and I think she attracts beautiful energy, to her, to her cafe, I have met such amazing, warm people since I have known her, in the cafe. I do believe that we have the house we have right now also because of this. You know how there are centers of energy, and how only people and things on the same frequency gravitate towards these, I believe that is what happens here, around this woman. To further my point, we ran into Cara on the way out, and she asked me about how I was feeling then. I had run into her the week before, when I was horribly sad about Faiz not being around, and she remembered. Kindness is a beautiful thing to receive.
We walked down the street and said hello to Samuel who was passing by. This had happened the last time too, I walked out the house to go get a coffee and wander around a little bit, and I ended up seeing about five or six people. Days like this feels a lot like belonging. I walk down the road sometimes and people know us, and it feels warm. The place feels familiar, the trees and the soil, the shortcuts, and the people, of course. I used to feel this way in Auroville too, this closeness, this familiarity. Of course, we have always maintained that our house chose us, we know it wanted us, we know it liked us as soon as we came around, and now I believe that maybe Camden does, too. One day I will believe is about London. Eventually.
We always play around in bed, an exquisite experience I had never imaged to live to see. We talk and roll around and laugh a lot, we take turns holding one another and smell each other and go on our phones and kiss a lot. That is how mornings usually go when we get to wake up together. We have been sleeping only in one room for a while now, we did through winter because we only had one heated blanket and no fucking money to pay for heating our house appropriately, but when we sleep separately, one person will wake up and migrate to the other – Fenny, more often than not.
We got dressed and decided to go to the church for a coffee, because we wanted to see how Oswald was doing in there, and it just seemed like a nice day to go around there. We found him sitting on the bench behind the shed, on his phone. Fransis made us our coffees, and we went out to have a smoke and talked about RRR which was hilarious really because of course Oscar watched it and loved it. It made me so happy, to sit there in the sun, in the garden with our coffees, bitching around some random thing that happened over the weekend or that morning, about some random, piece of shit cunt that we had to deal with, or some movie that was good, or nothing in particular. I cannot believe that it was only about a year ago that we discovered this place. I was so happy then, to have found it, to have made acquaintances with Oland back then, and to come around to sit and have our coffees there, at the bench in the back, to see the robin and the canal.
We left to go get the bus from Camden and realized that Mary was at the cafe that morning, and then of course we had to go in and say hello to them. She made me cry that day. We were chatting about random stuff, and she asked me about my visa, which was surprising, and I asked her why. She said was thinking about me, and about my situation with jobs, and about how we needed to get me a job before the whole visa situation gets bad, and that made me cry. It feels so fucking warm to be thought about, to be considered. Somehow, I have come to know the kindest humans here in London. It is a blessing to know that people think about you, that people keep you in mind as they go about their lives. Macey is a beautiful human, and I think she attracts beautiful energy, to her, to her cafe, I have met such amazing, warm people since I have known her, in the cafe. I do believe that we have the house we have right now also because of this. You know how there are centers of energy, and how only people and things on the same frequency gravitate towards these, I believe that is what happens here, around this woman. To further my point, we ran into Cara on the way out, and she asked me about how I was feeling then. I had run into her the week before, when I was horribly sad about Faiz not being around, and she remembered. Kindness is a beautiful thing to receive.
We walked down the street and said hello to Samuel who was passing by. This had happened the last time too, I walked out the house to go get a coffee and wander around a little bit, and I ended up seeing about five or six people. Days like this feels a lot like belonging. I walk down the road sometimes and people know us, and it feels warm. The place feels familiar, the trees and the soil, the shortcuts, and the people, of course. I used to feel this way in Auroville too, this closeness, this familiarity. Of course, we have always maintained that our house chose us, we know it wanted us, we know it liked us as soon as we came around, and now I believe that maybe Camden does, too. One day I will believe is about London. Eventually.
Riding the bus is one of our most favorite hobbies. It was longer than I had expected it to be, but really lovely still. I was a little bit apprehensive to go to the shop, but excited too, on a mission of sorts. We went in and got a poster, but that was a big flop. By the time we got on a bus back, the ink had run out, and all over our fingers, and we only ended up throwing the thing away. But we did get two books, one for us and one for Jerry, and I also managed to get some information, some much needed information. I have been wanting to plan a surprise movie screening for Finn here, and frankly I didn’t even know the exact location of the place, or its name. We had visited only once and about a year ago. Mission, like I said.
We decided to walk around Hackney for a while, around the area and then to Broadway Market and the canal. We found a huge plant shop, which amused me to no end. We walked around pretty neighborhoods that I hadn’t seen before, and then along the bus route. We happened to walk across several architecture and design studios that day, most of which I have actually applied to. It was a mind-blowing experience, to be honest. The thing is I have walked this exact road, or passed by it on a bus or something, so many, many times before, and never once did I glance at any of these places or realize that I was close to them in any way. It made me think about how somethings your eyes just graze over things that are right in front of you, how new things revel themselves at even the slightest change in perspective, just a second longer to linger somewhere or maybe walking on a different side of the road. I was so fascinated by this. We went around the high street at Broadway market and were walking towards one of the cafes at the corner of the main road, and we caught a whiff of something delicious, and took a second to look and found a board saying that someone was serving food around this non-descript, extremely abandoned looking building. The food we recognized as Indian but the menu seemed to be French of something thing, and there was literally no one around, so we could not comprehend what exactly was going on around there, but we decided to follow the scent, One round around the building and nothing, second round and a board with a million company names on it – including a few architecture firms, what the fuck – and some kitchens, take-away stuff, and a room with so many plants and saplings. We were looking around, completely lost and a guy came outta one of the other rooms – a kitchen – to ask us if we were okay. Very Jerremy Allen White looking, white shirt, blue apron, big eyes, a big smile. He said he was head chef of the satellite kitchen, catering mostly to weddings and such, and that was the menu that we had seen outside, they did food for the people in the building and around. We got an ice cream from it. It was mind-blowingly delicious. The Indian food was the prep kitchen for Tamil Prince in the next unit. It was the best ice cream I have had in my life, not even lying.
We walked along the canal for a while then, walking back home. It was a lovely walk. I love the regents canal, always did, since that time like three summers ago. It is amazing how I managed to find a place to live right next to it, even, pretty fascinating. I have always believed in my own power, my own will. I have always managed to receive amazing things, experience amazing synchronicities in life, and over the last year or so things have become a bit clouded. I live right next to the canal, one of my most favorite places in London. How fucking amazing. I would have never imagined this life for myself, for us.
We joked about how we could actually just walk back all the way and get back right to the cafe, but it would take a long time, and we had to meet Orlando in the afternoon, and so we did. He had put a chair out, where the benches went. It was so cute. They got some beers, and I sat around and took pictures. I thought that people might get offended, at first, but no one did. They stopped by to chat, to laugh or to say that Ford should probably not cut his hair, or to talk about something entirely different. James came around and he was so sweet. He took pictures of us and laughed a lot and was happy to be around us, he sat on the bench closer to us, not his usual one. The sun went down, and it we spent like four hours in the church yard. Again, who would have thought. I was only a year ago that I hadn’t even known about this place at all, and then there we were, just hanging out, getting Flora's hair chopped off on a random Monday evening. It felt like life was moving, and that it was full, then.
We decided to walk around Hackney for a while, around the area and then to Broadway Market and the canal. We found a huge plant shop, which amused me to no end. We walked around pretty neighborhoods that I hadn’t seen before, and then along the bus route. We happened to walk across several architecture and design studios that day, most of which I have actually applied to. It was a mind-blowing experience, to be honest. The thing is I have walked this exact road, or passed by it on a bus or something, so many, many times before, and never once did I glance at any of these places or realize that I was close to them in any way. It made me think about how somethings your eyes just graze over things that are right in front of you, how new things revel themselves at even the slightest change in perspective, just a second longer to linger somewhere or maybe walking on a different side of the road. I was so fascinated by this. We went around the high street at Broadway market and were walking towards one of the cafes at the corner of the main road, and we caught a whiff of something delicious, and took a second to look and found a board saying that someone was serving food around this non-descript, extremely abandoned looking building. The food we recognized as Indian but the menu seemed to be French of something thing, and there was literally no one around, so we could not comprehend what exactly was going on around there, but we decided to follow the scent, One round around the building and nothing, second round and a board with a million company names on it – including a few architecture firms, what the fuck – and some kitchens, take-away stuff, and a room with so many plants and saplings. We were looking around, completely lost and a guy came outta one of the other rooms – a kitchen – to ask us if we were okay. Very Jerremy Allen White looking, white shirt, blue apron, big eyes, a big smile. He said he was head chef of the satellite kitchen, catering mostly to weddings and such, and that was the menu that we had seen outside, they did food for the people in the building and around. We got an ice cream from it. It was mind-blowingly delicious. The Indian food was the prep kitchen for Tamil Prince in the next unit. It was the best ice cream I have had in my life, not even lying.
We walked along the canal for a while then, walking back home. It was a lovely walk. I love the regents canal, always did, since that time like three summers ago. It is amazing how I managed to find a place to live right next to it, even, pretty fascinating. I have always believed in my own power, my own will. I have always managed to receive amazing things, experience amazing synchronicities in life, and over the last year or so things have become a bit clouded. I live right next to the canal, one of my most favorite places in London. How fucking amazing. I would have never imagined this life for myself, for us.
We joked about how we could actually just walk back all the way and get back right to the cafe, but it would take a long time, and we had to meet Orlando in the afternoon, and so we did. He had put a chair out, where the benches went. It was so cute. They got some beers, and I sat around and took pictures. I thought that people might get offended, at first, but no one did. They stopped by to chat, to laugh or to say that Ford should probably not cut his hair, or to talk about something entirely different. James came around and he was so sweet. He took pictures of us and laughed a lot and was happy to be around us, he sat on the bench closer to us, not his usual one. The sun went down, and it we spent like four hours in the church yard. Again, who would have thought. I was only a year ago that I hadn’t even known about this place at all, and then there we were, just hanging out, getting Flora's hair chopped off on a random Monday evening. It felt like life was moving, and that it was full, then.
We went to the pub later and got a bit smashed. It took one pint for me; I am a fucking lightweight. And we talked about a lot of things, for the entire evening, before heading home to some leftover chicken curry, from business meeting the evening before. I couldn’t have really asked for anything better.
It was just one of those days, beautiful, smelling clean, of joy and sun, nestled into a series of days like this, too. Summer will come along, and we will feel differently about life, then we will feel this feeling again. When I was here on vacation, I never imaged for so many things to look as they do now. I had wished for so many different things. Now I live here now, and it feels similar to being in other places, places I had called home. It feels more amazing, too, more exciting and horribly painful sometimes, like I would have never dreamt of. I love it.
It was just one of those days, beautiful, smelling clean, of joy and sun, nestled into a series of days like this, too. Summer will come along, and we will feel differently about life, then we will feel this feeling again. When I was here on vacation, I never imaged for so many things to look as they do now. I had wished for so many different things. Now I live here now, and it feels similar to being in other places, places I had called home. It feels more amazing, too, more exciting and horribly painful sometimes, like I would have never dreamt of. I love it.