Faiz and I had been all by ourselves last year. I had spent the whole day writing, working on my thesis, and Faiz had been working. He had some back with stake, and we made dinner together and watched the little bits of fireworks from our balcony with some champagne. It was so nice, so exciting. This year we were invited to dinner with some friends and watched the fireworks from the rooftop of their house. We also picked up some mushrooms the day before, for after.
We woke up pretty late in the day, and rolled around in bed for a while, and that was lovely, until I began to feel hungry. We spent most of the afternoon on the couch, me working on my website and Faiz working on his crocheting. It was wonderful to have Faiz next to me, to be able to sit around and do things that made us happy. A privilege.
I think the last month of the year had turned out amazing for this very reason, we had somehow managed to spend a lot of time together.
It was the one month that we worked together, in the shed, and we also managed to fill our time with a bunch of random things.
This time on new year was so fucking nice man. To have people celebrate it with, so have some money, and some time, and some stability in life. I didn’t know how hard it was going to be really, how hard my life would be here in London would be. We went out to buy the groceries for that night, and it was so nice, really, to walk around with Faiz, I think we did get some coffee, and talked to some people around at coffee jar, we probably did, I don’t remember that. That afternoon we made some rajma, took showers, in turns, and headed out to the potluck.
Jade and Sara's house has always been warm, I think it felt so much more that day, with so many happy people around, and some booze and a lot of food. It was a warm time then, so nice. I did feel a lot of pressure that night, to mingle and to like make friends, make nice. Being around people isn’t the easiest for me, really, but it was good to be next to Fred, and I think that was one of the times when I realized that I really didn’t have to feel the pressure to actually do anything. It was perfectly fine for me to just sit around, to be there, present. I spoke to a few people, and we laughed a lot and it was warm and exciting. I was actually very, very excited to just go do drugs. All of us went up to the roof and waited for the count down and then watched the fireworks in the distance. We lit fireworks of our own too, and it was really lovely.
We woke up pretty late in the day, and rolled around in bed for a while, and that was lovely, until I began to feel hungry. We spent most of the afternoon on the couch, me working on my website and Faiz working on his crocheting. It was wonderful to have Faiz next to me, to be able to sit around and do things that made us happy. A privilege.
I think the last month of the year had turned out amazing for this very reason, we had somehow managed to spend a lot of time together.
It was the one month that we worked together, in the shed, and we also managed to fill our time with a bunch of random things.
This time on new year was so fucking nice man. To have people celebrate it with, so have some money, and some time, and some stability in life. I didn’t know how hard it was going to be really, how hard my life would be here in London would be. We went out to buy the groceries for that night, and it was so nice, really, to walk around with Faiz, I think we did get some coffee, and talked to some people around at coffee jar, we probably did, I don’t remember that. That afternoon we made some rajma, took showers, in turns, and headed out to the potluck.
Jade and Sara's house has always been warm, I think it felt so much more that day, with so many happy people around, and some booze and a lot of food. It was a warm time then, so nice. I did feel a lot of pressure that night, to mingle and to like make friends, make nice. Being around people isn’t the easiest for me, really, but it was good to be next to Fred, and I think that was one of the times when I realized that I really didn’t have to feel the pressure to actually do anything. It was perfectly fine for me to just sit around, to be there, present. I spoke to a few people, and we laughed a lot and it was warm and exciting. I was actually very, very excited to just go do drugs. All of us went up to the roof and waited for the count down and then watched the fireworks in the distance. We lit fireworks of our own too, and it was really lovely.
I have had a bunch of crazy new year’s celebrations. Which is wild. Somehow, I have always found myself surrounded by friends or by some very special people around this time. I fucking used to hate going to the church on the morning of the first of every year. Fucking annoying shit, to wake up early and get ready and wear all these poky and elaborate clothes. One new year’s I fell on some mud roads, and cuddled with someone I was so infatuated with. I have had a bunch of incidental ones here in London, some better than others. I don’t know why it matters so much, the celebration of time moving past us. If I was contained in a vacuum of timeless space, would I be able to function? Me, personally, I am very tied to time. I am never late – well, not anymore, and that’s because of Freddy. Time is also very important to me because I have control issues. I remember it was in twenty-eighteen when I was posting on social media about how all of this was a scam.
It was really fun to be up there with everyone, warm and full of life. We walked back to our house, and the streets were swarming with people going back too, to wherever they had to go back to. It was nice to be surrounded by so much energy, I felt very comfortable being part of a whole, and I reckon that is something to contemplate about in regards to celebrations. It is impossible to go on living without the comfort of something bigger than ourselves to fall back to.
We watch David Attenborough for the whole night and it was fucking great. Planet earth somehow became the best show I have ever watched in my whole entire life. At one point all of the plants in our room melted into the screen and tropical forests and everything would exhale when I did and everything would inhale with me too. Everything around me was so alive, and so ready to swallow me and hold me close, comfort me. I really don’t think I saw a single animal after the first hour, everything was just a continues pulse of shapes and colors with the stream of David’s voice coaxing my brain into different, new, brilliant tributaries of thought and fascinations. I wasn’t even scared of the fish. This had been making me anxious. The fish were beautiful.
We laughed so much that night, for five, six hours straight. Faid is so fucking funny when he is high. He kept saying so much random shit, and all of it was hilarious. I honestly think he should be a writer, or a performer, his sense of humor is so perfect, the timing, the wit of it. I am one million percent sure that he is going to be a public figure one day, a very popular one too. There was a part I remember so clearly, when this big kind of fish, who swam all the way to the other side of the world, where it alrea-
It was really fun to be up there with everyone, warm and full of life. We walked back to our house, and the streets were swarming with people going back too, to wherever they had to go back to. It was nice to be surrounded by so much energy, I felt very comfortable being part of a whole, and I reckon that is something to contemplate about in regards to celebrations. It is impossible to go on living without the comfort of something bigger than ourselves to fall back to.
We watch David Attenborough for the whole night and it was fucking great. Planet earth somehow became the best show I have ever watched in my whole entire life. At one point all of the plants in our room melted into the screen and tropical forests and everything would exhale when I did and everything would inhale with me too. Everything around me was so alive, and so ready to swallow me and hold me close, comfort me. I really don’t think I saw a single animal after the first hour, everything was just a continues pulse of shapes and colors with the stream of David’s voice coaxing my brain into different, new, brilliant tributaries of thought and fascinations. I wasn’t even scared of the fish. This had been making me anxious. The fish were beautiful.
We laughed so much that night, for five, six hours straight. Faid is so fucking funny when he is high. He kept saying so much random shit, and all of it was hilarious. I honestly think he should be a writer, or a performer, his sense of humor is so perfect, the timing, the wit of it. I am one million percent sure that he is going to be a public figure one day, a very popular one too. There was a part I remember so clearly, when this big kind of fish, who swam all the way to the other side of the world, where it alrea-
dy
was,
to find some
food. We were so angry at it because on the way the poor thing got hurt, and the entire journey was so difficult for it. We were so frustrated with the fish. We wanted for it to just stay the fuck where it was. We were so annoyed at the fact that all of these animals had to migrate for food or shelter, for the weather, or whatever the fuck, and the journey would cause them grief and pain, and we just couldn’t comprehend why they would go through any of that. It could have been a bird. God only fucking knows. It was so fucking funny, all of this, so fucking funny. We were falling over ourselves, tears in our eyes, laughing so, so much.
I guess that would be a great way to begin the new year, right? Laughing, comfy, so happy. I have always held the belief that you should do only good things on the first day of the year, because these are the things that will stick with you for the rest. I always try to do fun things, try not to get into arguments or bad situations. This was peak really. It was so lovely to be with my love and with my best friend, to chat, to laugh, to just fucking melt into the world, and take the restrains of my conscience off for a while. It was lovely.
I couldn’t sleep for a long while even after we went to bed. Every time I would close my eyes, I would see fish and patterns and the whole entire universe and myself. It was amazing. We ate so many nuggets that night, which was also really funny. It was funny to lie in bed next to my love. We drifted to sleep slowly at dawn. The first day of the year, actually don’t recall much about it. We went to the bus stop and it was raining a lot. The was so lovely, it was pouring, heavy and continuous. I insisted that we walk to the top of Primrose Hill. This is a ritual now, I am going to do it every year, go to the top, and spend some moments in gratitude. I have everything to be grateful about, after all.
I guess that would be a great way to begin the new year, right? Laughing, comfy, so happy. I have always held the belief that you should do only good things on the first day of the year, because these are the things that will stick with you for the rest. I always try to do fun things, try not to get into arguments or bad situations. This was peak really. It was so lovely to be with my love and with my best friend, to chat, to laugh, to just fucking melt into the world, and take the restrains of my conscience off for a while. It was lovely.
I couldn’t sleep for a long while even after we went to bed. Every time I would close my eyes, I would see fish and patterns and the whole entire universe and myself. It was amazing. We ate so many nuggets that night, which was also really funny. It was funny to lie in bed next to my love. We drifted to sleep slowly at dawn. The first day of the year, actually don’t recall much about it. We went to the bus stop and it was raining a lot. The was so lovely, it was pouring, heavy and continuous. I insisted that we walk to the top of Primrose Hill. This is a ritual now, I am going to do it every year, go to the top, and spend some moments in gratitude. I have everything to be grateful about, after all.